FANDOM: I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!
TITLE: Lovemonkey
SUMMARY: Props to leneebear for the term 'lovemonkey'. This is actually not really slash, it's more gen? Just more... hijinks in the jungle. Crackity crack crack.
WORDS: 347
RATING: PG


Joe stumbled away from the double-decker bus, tripping over foliage.

"Quick, somebody help me!" Joe said, nearly falling into Nicola's arms. "Call a doctor! I've been bitten by some sort of deadly bastard jungle bug."

Nicola raised her eyebrows, doubtful, but held on to Joe as he wavered. "What makes you think you've been bitten?"

"I'm hallucinating," Joe moaned. "I'm hallucinating and I'm going to die, Nic, I'm going to die all alone here in the jungle."

"There are ten of us out here, Joe," Nicola pointed out.

"Doesn't matter! I'm dying and hallucinating and soon I'll be bleeding out of my eyeballs if you don't do nothing about it!"

Nicola rolled her eyes and reached out for Simon's elbow, who was standing with his back turned, talking to George. "Here. Take him. I don't have to deal with this," she said, pushing Joe into Simon's arms and stalking off to sit on a log. Joe collapsed against Simon's chest as if his limbs were made of rubber.

"Whoa there," Simon said, catching him. "What's the matter with you?"

"Oh, Simon," Joe wailed. "It's the end for me. I'm hallucinating and dying and practically bleeding out of my eyeballs!"

"Relax, Joseph, you're not bleeding. What did you think you saw?"

"I didn't see anything," Joe anguished. "I heard it and it was terrible. Terrible, Simon."

"Well, tell us."

"I heard..." Joe paused, but whether it was for dramatic effect or he was simply overtaken by emotion was unknown. "I heard David calling Timmy his lovemonkey!"

"Who's a lovemonkey?" Martina asked to nobody in particular as she passed them to stoke the campfire.

Nicola pulled a face. "What the hell is a lovemonkey?"

"Lovemonkey?" Simon asked, slightly taken aback. George chuckled.

"Lovemonkey!" Joe shouted miserably.

At that very moment, a deep crashing noise came from the bus. A minute later, David stepped out, hands crossed against his chest. He was frowning, nose turned up at the rest of the people milling about the camp. Timmy stood behind him, peering over his shoulder.

"Oy! You been spying on us?"